Monday, January 6, 2014
I've got a new party trick for you!

And no it does not involve putting your whole fist into your mouth, introducing yourself to everyone as "Hi I'm Lucinda. What do I do for a living? I'm a Free Spirit," or showing up in your beat-around weekend clothes that happen to be, oh, A PROM DRESS. one else watched The Bachelor lead-in special last night I take it?

Here's the new party trick:

Take a friend/parent/date/sibling/dog to Roost (all right, don't take a dog, they might frown upon that), tell them to order the Fried Cauliflower, and when said cauliflower arrives? Sit back, and enjoy the show.

I'll explain.

A few weeks ago, my new BFF Megan and I went to Roost for dinner. This rustic, farm-to-table restaurant has an ever-changing eclectic menu. I didn't get to try as many things as I would have liked, so I plan to go back to sample some more of their funky, delicious fare.

And to do the party trick on someone.

But we'll get to that.

First up, we ordered the "Bread Service" appetizer, which on that day consisted of two ginormous soft pretzels, pimento cheese spread, and three different butters (one being truffle. I died). I'm telling you: If you go to Roost, GET THIS. It was absolutely incredible. The softness of the bread! The variety of the butter! Endless exclamation points!!!!!!!!

Next up, we ordered the Fried Cauliflower. But sorry! We'll get to that in a little bit!

After The Amazing Fried Cauliflower Incident of 2013 (yes, I know what year we're in now, it was still 2013 at the time), we ordered a seasonal Butternut Squash Pasta that they were serving then. This was REALLY good. It was super creamy and hearty, so it was good that we split it. But, gah. Butternut squash, I can't quit you. It was quite a scrumptious dish.

Okay. So the moment you've all been waiting for: The Fried Cauliflower.

I almost wish Megan and our super awesome server hadn't explained to me the mystery behind the magic/I'm very grateful that they did because I likely would have a) screamed; b) fallen out of my chair; or c) all of the above.

But because I want you all to be the pranksters, and not the prank-ees, I'm going to let you in on the secret: The cauliflower is topped with bonito (fish) flakes, and the bonito flakes... move. No, I'm sorry, move is not the right word. The flakes writhe. They belly dance. Apparently, these [fully dead and not at all alive] flakes are dehydrated, but the steam from the cauliflower is so intense that it re-hydrates them, causing them to wriggle pretty vibrantly, as if they were little groovy dancing worms.

I kid you not, it was the trippy-est thing I've ever seen.

And what's even more incredible to me is that Megan had experienced their cauliflower before, and she actually thought they were alive...AND ATE THEM. Here's how she broached it with me:

Megan: We should definitely order the Fried Cauliflower because that's what they're famous for.
Kim: Okay, sounds good.
Megan: Though I have to warn you, there are these things on top of the cauliflower that are sort of...still alive.
Kim: WHAT?!?!
Megan: I mean, it's fine, I've eaten them before, they just move around and stuff, so don't be freaked out.
Kim: Megan, ALIVE?!
(Our server swoops in.)
Sever: No no no no no, they aren't alive! It's just the re-hydration process from the steam!


And I really should have taken a video because I don't think you can fully grasp what I'm describing here. And I know I may have a *slight* pension for the drama in my writing, but there's no way I'm overselling this thing.

So go to Roost. Experience their amazing, delicious, creative, and delightfully bizarre dishes.

And really freak your friends out.


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