Kim's Christmas "Lists"

Wednesday, December 24, 2014
I know this is a Houston blog, and it's primarily a food blog, and sometimes I'll talk about my travels, but today I want to talk about Christmas!

I have some opinions.

(shocker).

The girl who put her Christmas tree up this year the Tuesday BEFORE Thanksgiving, who throws a log on the fire in 70-degree weather, who has a mini [talking] Rudolph figurine set, complete with $6.99 fiber-optic Christmas tree she bought at a Duane Reade in NYC 5 years ago perched on her desk by her computer at work? That girl has some opinions about Christmas. More specifically, Christmas movies and Christmas music. So here are my definitive completely biased opinions on the subject!


Top 10 Christmas Movies of All Time

1. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Why yes I'm referring to the 1964 claymation classic of course! With a cast of characters that includes Hermey the elf (who wants to be a dentist, 'natch), Yukon Cornelius, and the frightening abominable snow monster of the north, I can't get enough of this movie.

2. Elf. Will Ferrell in a giant elf costume causing mayhem throughout New York City? It's my dream come true. 

3. A Charlie Brown Christmas. I cry every time. Ev.ery.time.

4. It's a Wonderful Life. See crying note above.

5. How the Grinch Stole Christmas. The 30 minute made-for-TV version from 1966. As far as I'm concerned no other version exists.

6. A Muppet Christmas Carol. Greatest line, as said by Gonzo: "And Tiny Tim, who did NOT die..."
 
7. The Holiday. When Kate Winslet tries to gas herself to death in her gorgeous English countryside home and then has a moment of clarity, opening her windows, slapping herself in the face, and saying "Low point!" in that adorable Kate Winslet-y way, I die every time.

8. White Christmas. Ugh, Bing Crosby, you slay me. 

9. Emmett Otter's Jug Band Christmas. And you thought you'd seen me cry during Charlie Brown and It's a Wonderful Life. HA.
 
10. Love Actually. While I wholeheartedly agree that this is actually a terrible movie, I cannot help but love it. (warning: link NSFW, albeit HILARIOUS.)

*Honorable Mention: Meet Me in St. Louis. No, it's not technically a Christmas movie, but it does feature the greatest Christmas song ever, as sung by one of the greatest female artists ever. But more on that in a minute.

Also, I'm not doing a "Top 10 Worst Christmas Movies of All Time" list because they're all good. Even the cheesy ABC Family/Lifetime/Hallmark Christmas movies with titles like Christmas Kiss, Moonlight & Mistletoe, and A Boyfriend for Christmas. Even those are WONDERFUL.


 Top 10 Christmas Songs of All Time

1. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas, performed by Judy Garland in Meet Me in St. Louis (see above). This is Christmas in all it's perfect wonderment.

2. It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year, performed by Andy Williams. My sister Emily argues that this is #1. How can you not instantly smile when you hear those first few chords blast out triumphantly?

3. All I Want for Christmas is You, performed by Mariah Carey. I am still completely amazed that this song came out 20 years ago (excuse me while I go crawl into a whole and cry until 2015), and it's still such a beloved favorite across the board. Many other pop stars from the past twenty years (Britney, Kelly Clarkson, etc.) have attempted this, but none have had the staying power of Mariah.

4. Oh Come All Ye Faithful, performed by everyone in church. You know how during the chorus, everyone gradually gets louder on each "Oh Come Let us Adore Him" until they're basically screaming out the last one? I f'ing love that.

5. White Christmas, performed by Bing Crosby. See #8 above.

6. You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch, performed by Thurl Ravenscroft. I mean, the man's name is freaking THURL RAVENSCROFT. And with a lyric like "Your soul is an appalling dump heap, overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment of rubbish imaginable, mangled up in tangled up knots!" how can it not be awesome?

7. This Christmas, peformed by Donny Hathaway. I realize this one is a bit obscure, but hear me out. Back in, I don't know, 1992? my dad impulse bought a CD titled A Jazzy Wonderland, featuring this song as the opening track (not sure who it was performed by-maybe Donny?). And it's magical. Do yourself a favor and put it on your Spotify IMMEDIATELY.

8. A Holly Jolly Christmas, performed by Burl Ives from the Rudolph movie. It's Holly! It's Jolly! I love it!

9. Christmas Time is Here from A Charlie Brown Christmas. Tears. TEARS.

10. The entire NSYNC Home for the Holidays album. And I'm going to go out on a limb here and say probably more of you agree with me on this than you care to admit.
*Honorable Mentions: Go Tell it on the Mountain, performed by James Taylor, all of the Carpenter Christmas album, Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!, performed by Dean Martin, and Last Christmas by Wham...as performed by the cast of Glee or Taylor Swift (feel free to punch me). And Carol of the Bells, performed by the Transiberian Orchestra, because if you synchronize your outdoor Christmas lights to this, I will be your guaranteed best friend for life.


Top 5 Worst Christmas Songs of All Time

1. Santa Baby. Even Michael Buble couldn't save this one.

2. I'm Gettin' Nothin' for Christmas. I love children. I do NOT love this child.

3. My Birthday Falls on Christmas. I have a serious issue with whiny children singing about how terrible their lives are because of the lack of Christmas presents they're getting this year. Poor little Tommy, he won't be getting his XBox 480 this year, we all feel really sorry for you since you share your birthday with, oh I don't know, CHRIST, which should be an honor, but yes,we all feel very terrible for you. *Eye Twitch*

4. All I want for Christmas is my Two Front Teeth. Well, at least this kid has more realistic expectations.

5. Suzy Snowflake. As a feminist, I can appreciate the attempt at a song which is the female counterpart to Frosty the Snowman. As a human with ears, I cannot appreciate how awful it is.


Top 4 Creepiest/Weirdest/Most Unsettling Christmas Songs of All Time

1. Baby It's Cold Outside. Let's break this down here.

The neighbors might think / Baby, it's bad out there
Say, WHAT'S IN THIS DRINK / No cabs to be had out there
 I wish I knew how / Your eyes are like starlight now
To break this spell / I'll take your hat, your hair looks swell

Women of Houston and of planet earth: If you have even the slightest inkling that someone has slipped "something" into your drink, please stop reading this blog and IMMEDIATELY CALL 911. 

Also, can we please get another romantic duet to start resurrecting every year with new artists, (preferably sans roofie reference)? I actually don't hate this song, but I don't need to hear a new iteration of it every year by a different combination of artists such as Idina Menzel and Michael Buble, the cast of Glee, or Francis and Claire Underwood (okay but for real how awesome would that last one be??).

2. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus. I get it. Har har, mom's actually kissing dad. But the kid doesn't know this! And is the kid bothered by this? No! In fact, what a laugh it is! Ha Ha! WHAT A LAUGH TO WALK IN ON YOUR MOM MAKING OUT WITH NOT YOUR DAD. I guess a distaste for infidelity was imbedded in me from an early age, because this song used to legitimately upset me.

3. Under My Tree, by NSYNC:

No one else but me and you
Nothing I would rather do
Then hold you all through the night
Under my tree
Bring along the mistletoe
Keep the music nice and low
I'll show you how good it could be.
I wish that Santa could be here to see
It's beautiful
Under my tree

As previously stated, I shamelessly love the entire album, including this bizarre song, but even I can acknowledge its creepiness. I wish that Santa (who, as we've covered is none other than your dad) could be here to see....

4. Santa Claus is Coming to Town:

You better watch out.
You better not pout.
You better not cry
I'm telling you why:
Santa Claus is coming to town

Do you picture being alone in a dark room with Steve Buschemi or Willem Defoe or Jack Nicholson a la The Shining when you hear those lyrics? Yeah, me too. But don't worry guys, it's okay, because he sees you when you're sleeping, and he knows when you're awake! Hurrah!

And on that high note...

I wish you all a safe, happy, and warm holiday season, filled with hot chocolate, Charlie Brown, feminist snowflakes, and lots and lots of love!

Taco Tuesdays: Guadalajara Downtown

Tuesday, December 23, 2014
I'm in a bit of a holiday rut.

I know. Coming from the girl who basically IS Christmas (what does that even mean). I normally relish every peppermint-coated, egg nog-soaked, gingerbread-kissed (stop? got it) second between Thanksgiving and Christmas, but this year I find myself wanting to plow through all of it. December has just been so jam-packed that I haven't really had a chance to watch Elf 67 times, which is a struggle, you know? I'm certainly not complaining because I'm at a super content place in my life right now, but maybe I just want Christmas to be here pronto, amiright?

Regardless, I still have managed to sneak in a few joyous festive moments! Like recently, my dear friend Meredith and I went to look at the Christmas lights on the old homes at the Heritage Society. And, we got to meet someone really cool...

Because we're adults and we do what we want.

But before we did that, we had dinner at Guadalajara downtown, and it was hella good!

My parents used to live downtown, so we would often walk over from their place to Guadalajara. I hadn't been in about 2 years, so it was great to go back!

To start, I ordered the sangria off of the Happy Hour menu, and Meredith ordered the spiked horchata, aka Liquidy Christmas Magic Down Your Throat. My sangria was okay, but it was a little heavier than I like it. Her Liquidy Christmas Magic Down Your Throat was velvety, smooth, soul-warming, and filled with a healthy pour of tequila and nine jolly elves. I'm pretty sure a few of those would definitely put me in the Christmas spirit!

(They might also put me in a bathtub wondering where the last five hours of my life went).

Well, that took a dark turn.

......

Chips! And salsa! And a drink on the menu called a Horny Iguana!

(Do I need to give this blog post a parental advisory warning?)

The Guadalajara salsa is top-notch y'all. They serve it warm, and flavor-wise it's definitely more earthy than sweet. Awesome.

To start we ordered the spinach and feta cheese sweet corn tamales, which for the record I LOVE. The creamy spinach and feta cheese filling is rich, sweet, slightly tart, and downright decadent.

This unique departure from your regular run-of-the-mill tamale is so delightful!

You probably could have lived your lives never having seen the inside of my tamale, huh? Apologies.

In general I like to change things up when I eat out. I'm typically not an "I found one dish I love and now I will only ever order that" type of person... Except when it comes to Mexican food. I find my favorites, and I stick with them. Pre-vegetarian days, I would always get beef fajitas at every Mexican restaurant I went to (I'm telling you, I still have dreams about the fillet fajitas at El Tiempo, GOOD LORD). And now that I'm a vegetarian, you can put money on the fact that I will always order some version of this:

A veggie-filled quesadilla of wonder.

This particular quesadilla was filled with cheese, mushrooms, and spinach. Ugh, and it was good. You know what bums me out? A soggy quesadilla. You know what this was? A not-soggy quesadilla. You know what else bums me out? A dry quesadilla. You know what this was? A not-dry quesadilla. Guadalajara has mastered the perfect balance of a crispy toasted quesadilla with moist <~~(invitation to hate me granted), flavorful contents on the inside. There were a ton of savory, smooth, veggies packed in, and the gooey plethora of cheese did not leave me disappointed. This was a darn good quesadilla. Meredith had a 3 taco sampler, and she dubbed my dish as the winner.

Guadalajara is a Houston chain, so with a few different locations, you've got options folks. The environment is fun, the prices are decent, and the food is quality. So ho ho ho your way on over!

#notsorry

Guadalajara Del Centro on Urbanspoon

Happy Hour at Oishii

Tuesday, December 16, 2014
I found the best Happy Hour deal in Houston.

Okay, well I didn't find it, I was actually a little slow to hop on the Oishii gravy train, but I'm so glad to have finally experienced it!

My friend Megan and I decided to check out this no-frills Greenway Plaza sushi spot for Happy Hour recently, and we were not disappointed.

Get this: $3 sakes (plus other various cheap drinks), and a list of about 25 $4/Buy One Get One Free appetizers. I mean, they're basically giving this stuff away. And it's great food to boot!

I started off with a sake, miso soup, and green salad. They give you quite a healthy pour for $3 worth of sake. The miso soup was outstanding - the perfect amount of saltiness, with TONS of seaweed and tofu. And the salad was your standard Japanese salad with tasty, flavorful, tart ginger dressing. Off the bat it was clear that despite incredibly low prices, they do not skimp on quality or quantity!

Next up I ordered the kanpyo roll and vegetable tempura roll.

The kanpyo (squash) roll, I'll admit, was pretty unexciting. The squash had such a mild flavor that the rice really took over. It wasn't terrible, it just needed some more pizazz.

But the veggie tempura roll was delicious. It contained a healthy amount of vegetables in the filling and had a delightful light crunch to it. I ate every bite!

Even though we were pretty much full, we had to order more (since let's be honest, everything was basically free!). So we split the vegetable tempura and the vegetable tempura roll (yes again, because I wanted her to try it).

The vegetable tempura was outstanding. The tempura coating was light, buttery, and flaky. It was not super crunchy, but it definitely was not soggy. The vegetables inside (onions, carrots, zucchini, broccoli) were popping with silky flavor, and shone beautifully through the exterior coating. It was absolutely superb!

Oishii is such a great little spot - Be sure to get to Happy Hour early because as we were leaving there was a substantial wait. The service is fast and friendly, the food is tasty, and the prices are incomprehensible. I think our bill came out to $11 a person!


Tempura.for.days.

Oishii Japanese Restaurant & Sushi Bar on Urbanspoon

Just Dinner on Dunlavy

Thursday, December 4, 2014
I have a little story about how the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

My parents have been telling me for the better part of two years that I have to eat at Just Dinner on Dunlavy. "It's so romantic!" "It's so cute!" "The food is great!" "It's BYOB!" "It's totally affordable!" "If you don't go now, we will actually disown you and never again acknowledge you as our offspring!"

(if only I were kidding about that last one).

So after hearing/enduring all of the praises mild threats, I finally made reservations for the bf and I to have dinner there the Wednesday night before Thanksgiving at 7:00.

"Mom, Jon and I are going to Just Dinner Wednesday night at 7:00!"

There was a long pause. Then my mother started laughing. "Wednesday night?" (yes) "This Wednesday night?" (uh-huh) "As in Wednesday the 26th, your father and I's anniversary?" (uhh..yes?) "We have reservations there at 6:45."

I promptly changed our reservation to 8:00.

And boy did we confuse the restaurant staff with their having two reservations under the name "Ogonosky" in one night, let me tell ya.

But my parents were absolutely right - Just Dinner is housed in an old, completely unassuming, charming bungalow on Dunlavy and Welch. With no more than roughly 20 [fashion magazine-lined] tables in the place, it's incredibly intimate and romantic. And delicious!

And with a BYOB $10 corking fee, I was totally game! We brought a bottle we had acquired from our trip to the La Cruz de Comal winery we visited earlier in the month, and we enjoyed every last drop!
 
They started us off with these complementary crackers and creamy dipping sauce, which I believe was a combo of pesto and hummus, and which consequently sent me into a giddy tailspin. It was a lovely way to start everything off.

I told our incredibly attentive and friendly server that I was debating between what I would like to start off with - the mixed garden greens or a side of the blue cheese polenta.

"Oh I  definitely recommend the mixed garden greens - that's what your mom started off with!"

Oy.

This was a good salad. But let me be clear - This was not a life-changing salad. When I read "pear, goat cheese, pistachios, and pomegranate vinaigrette" I was expecting something with a little more pizazz. It was definitely pretty to look at, but it was relatively ordinary tasting. I think perhaps it was a little heavy on the sweet stuff (pear, pomegranate vinaigrette). Possibly a stronger cheese or a different nut would have made me love it more.

Jon ordered the pork belly appetizer, and based on his reaction, I'm pretty sure that was life-changing.

I was also pretty sure that promptly after dinner he'd be leaving me to run off with a pork belly appetizer. And after having past pre-vegetarian life-changing pork belly experiences, I can't say that I really would've blamed him.

For my entree I ordered the stuffed collard rolls.

Filled with quinoa, black rice, and amaranth, and topped with a roasted red pepper sauce, this was a very unique and interesting dish. Coming form a Polish background, I was expecting something similar to golumpki (look it up, make it, and then give me some, thanks), but this was a much earthier dish. I liked the nutty flavors of the stuffing combined with the smooth zippy red pepper sauce, but I felt like the middle could have used something else to help bring it together a little better. Perhaps taking a cue from my beloved golumpki, the addition of a tomato paste would have worked well. I definitely enjoyed it, though I would probably order something different next time.

But THIS.

I went ahead and threw caution to the wind and also ordered a side of the blue cheese polenta because I'm a risk taker. This was life-changing. Guys, I died. I mean, I really died. I died, and left Jon, and rode off into the sunset with a bowl of blue cheese polenta because it was that good. The creamy, buttery, smooth, rich, decadent, savory, velvety, masterpiece of a bowl contains the secret to life. It's for sure in the running for one of the best things I've eaten in the past year. Marry it now (I told you the place was romantic).

After coming off of my polenta-induced high, I couldn't not order dessert. And after looking at the menu, I couldn't not order the gooey, rich chocolate cake which wouldn't not put me on another high and force me to use an offensive amount of double negatives. This cake was ooh-ahhingly, eye-rollingly, sensationally good. It almost, almost beat out the warm chocolate cake from Backstreet Cafe.

So grab your spouse, your significant other, your best friend, or your favorite bowl of polenta, and make a reservation for the most charming, romantic, unassuming, delicious spot in town!

Be sure to put your reservation under the name "Ogonosky."

Just Dinner on Dunlavy on Urbanspoon
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